Duel Monster's day off
by animage1
Summary: Ever wonder what the real feeling's of the duel monster's were, well now you will know a disgruntled sword's man and a Miss Shadow Realm pagent is some of the antic's the's monster are up to (Yes i know i suck at summeries i make it sound like
1. the Celtic Guardian Revolts

Duel monster's day off  
Chap 1: Celtic guardian's revolt  
The match was set Yugi versus Kaiba in a teeth-clenching match, their life points were evenly matched at 2500 a piece. Kaiba seemed to be dominating the field as he had his three Blue eyes's out ready and rearing to attack, he beamed with satisfaction because it seemed as though his opponent was cornered  
  
"What's the matter Yugi scared?" he exclaimed with a devilish grin "why don't you admit defeat and just call me the new king of games"  
  
" I will never succumb to the like's of you Kaiba" he retorted dramatically as he drew his next card " and now I summon the Celtic Guardian"  
  
with a flip of a wrist he slapped down the card onto the projector and as usual the Celtic Guardian appeared sword drawn and ready to face anything but as soon as he saw what he was up against the swordsman froze with a sweatdrop dug his sword into the ground then motioned his hand's in the shape of a T and cried "TIME OUT"  
  
Both Yugi and Kaiba stared at the duel monster in utter shock "Time out what do you mean time out" Yugi finally gasped  
  
"Listen shrimpy pharaoh dude how in He double hockey sticks do you expect me to go up against those frigging thing's," he cried pointing to the three blue behemoths snarling behind him Yugi stammered a bit trying to find a good reason for his action  
  
" Heh Just as I thought" he scoffs "do you know how many time's I've been squashed, stabbed, eaten, impaled, mummified, blasted and a whole other assortment of unimaginable torture I've been through because of you ".  
  
" Well.ah no." whispered Yugi  
  
" DID'T THINK SO!! "  
  
" But you're my duel monster"  
  
" Not any more" retorted the disgruntled swordsman as he yanked out a piece of paper from beneath his cape "this is my contract"  
  
"(Gasp) What do you think you are doing with that??!" Yugi cried slamming his fist's against the dueling table  
  
" Hey watch it with the hardware over there these dueling stations are expensive!!" Kaiba interrupted  
  
" Shut up Kaiba I have more important matter's to deal with over here" turning his attention back to his monster just in time to see him rip up the contract  
  
The Celtic guardian stopped and peered at Yugi at the corner of his eye and replied " Dude I quit, besides Nintendo offered me an even better contract for their up coming release of the next Legend of Zelda game" and with that he leapt off the platform leaving the dejected pharaoh behind him.  
  
"Wait!" Yugi called out to him sort of choked up, the Celtic guardian halted but kept his back facing him " please re consider this, without you my dueling deck is incomplete and for the heart of the cards to fully achieve it's full potential I need all my monster's at my side and that also includes you my friend so please come back to my deck"  
  
" (Sniff) (Sniff) that was so .beautiful," exclaimed the Celtic guardian wiping away a tear " But . there is no way in hell I'll ever get back in your deck"  
  
"WHATT?! But that was straight from the heart how could you not want to come back" Yugi protested shacking his fists as the Celtic Guardian walked out of the room.  
  
Now at this point Yugi was totally dumbstruck at the fact that one of his monsters had just quit in the middle of a duel, so shocked he was he totally forgot about Kaiba and the duel and was standing there staring at the door incredulously.  
  
"YUGI!! Come on snap out of it and finish the duel," Kaiba screamed out in full-blown rage  
  
"Uh wah?" he blinked peering over at Kaiba still in a daze "OH the duel I'm sorry Kaiba but I cannot finish this duel with an incomplete deck"  
  
"What do you mean you cant finish the duel" he growled " that's it I've had enough of this insane crap I'm gonna end this duel if you like it or not" his eyes flared with frustration and anger as he swiped the card off the top of his deck not caring weather of not it was against the rules or not then slammed Obelisk the Tormentor onto the field but as he reached to tribute his Blue eyes a small bolt of electricity sparked from the card's and struck his hand, "What the hell!!" Kaiba looked up at the field and jumped back to see his all three Blue eyes glaring at him with contempt.  
  
Then each blue eye's pulled up a sign (God alone knows where they got it) that read  
  
' Excuse me but you have the three of us on the field'  
  
' What's the point in summoning that thing if you're already too damn powerful with all of us on the field'  
  
'We're not pleased Kaiba'  
  
"Uuuggggh no not you too" he whined slapping his hand against his fore head  
  
. . . . .  
  
ha well I really cant think of a better ending right now maybe I'll think of something better on a later date but Readers please review and tell me what ya think 


	2. The Great Miss Shadow realm Pageant

Duel monsters Day off  
Chap2: The Great Miss Shadow Realm Pageant Part 1  
  
(Before I begin this story I have to note all the cards featured in this story are currently a part of my deck, and my cousin and I actually had an official pageant to determine the winner. Yes we have way too much time on our hands so enjoy)  
Deep in the depths of the shadow realm where ancient spirits reside, a stir of excitement for all the residents was taking place, on one of the realm's notice board's a flier was pinned up announcing the annual Miss Shadow realm Pageant.  
  
The girl's were in a tizzy trying to read the poster  
  
ATTENTION ALL FEMME FETELS OF THE SHADOW REALM  
  
IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN SO BRING ALL YOUR BEAUTY AND TALLENT FOR THE MISS SHADOW REALM PAGEANT  
  
All registration's are to be sent to The Castle Of Dark Illusions before the closing date So to all entrants' Good Luck!!  
For the next few weeks it was utter havoc for the tailors and equip dealers, every girl in the shadow realm eagerly preparing for the event. Finally after endless primping and perming the day arrived, the dressing rooms were filled to capacity with contestants, the look of pure anxiety was on everyone's face everyone except the Harpie's ladies, the three of them just sat back and beamed with pride smirking at the others as if they had already won,  
  
"I can't believe you three aren't terrified like the rest of us" exclaimed Commencement Dance who was sitting not too far away from them " (Humph) Why should we be nervous I mean look at us?" replied the pink Harpies lady vainly swishing her hand her hair slapping the Unhappy Maiden in the face, the poor girl wailed pitifully much to the Harpie's ladies delight  
  
" Awwwwe there, there" cooed the mystical elf cradling the girl in her arms "don't worry about them (chanting some kind of elf spell)" calming the Maiden down  
  
" Hmmmmm you three think this competition is based on look's alone, please this is no pathetic human pageant the qualifying round alone test's our resilience, remember we all have to stand up against the secret judges secret power to qualify" explained Gyakutennomagami who was *Makoing not to far away  
  
" (Sigh) don't remind me last time it was Trap Master and he totally rigged the stage with Trap Hole's and Dark destruction's yeesh" mumbled Commencement Dance in disgust  
  
"Ha! Good thing we could fly" the blue harpies lady smirked with confidence  
"Ten seconds ladies till curtain ladies" everyone became silent and lined up to go on stage  
"WELCOME LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND OTHER THINGS I'm your host Mr. Volcano and It's time for the Miss Shadow Realm Pageant" announced a red haired guy on the stage the crowd roaring with excitement as the girl's made their way onto the stage. " Lovely bunch we have here just lovely... uh wait a second" Mr. Volcano exclaimed then peered at one of the contestant's carefully " Ah Ancient elf your not supposed to be here this pageant is for girl's only"  
  
"Isn't this a beauty contest?" the elf protested  
  
" Uh.. Yes but you're a guy"  
  
" So what aint I a sexy bitch"  
  
Mr. Volcano rolled his eyes and shook his head exasperated then called security  
  
" Ok sorry folks about the slight delay but it's the time you've all been waiting for the qualifying round but first let us introduce the panel of judges. The Furious Sea king, Darkfire soldier, Harpie's Brother and White Magical Hat. And now it's time to introduce our last judge."  
  
The contestant's braced for anything as a huge black box was wheeled out onto the stage, suddenly the box flew open making the crowd jump back " May I introduce to you all The Dark Magician!!" the dark magician turned to the girls with a sultry smile and winked  
  
Instantly the majority of the contestants fell to the ground in a swoon leaving only 14 out of thousand's still standing, then from nowhere a whole heard of Kuriboh's and Niwatori stampeded onto the stage picking up all the poor lovesick girl's off the stage  
(Dialect translations)  
  
*Makoing- to but in or listen in on someone or something  
  
Pronounced MA -KO not Makou like in Makou Tsunami 


	3. The Drredded swimsuit catagory

Duel Monsters day off  
  
Chapter2  
  
(Minor notes: this pageant is not like ordinary beauty competitions so some pageant restrictions do not apply ^-^! Just to let ya know)  
  
Part 2: The dreaded bathing suit competition  
  
" Congratulation's girl's and by now as you'd probably figured out the qualifying round was determined by whoever was left standing. Now introduce yourself to the audience and tell us what was your strategy for the first paliminary round"  
  
"My name is Dark Magician girl and I definatly can't swoon over him because he's like my brother. eeeew!"  
  
Mr. Volcano rose a suspicious glance at the judging panel but nodded his head in approval and continued to the next contestant  
  
" I'm the Dark Witch and well that guy is my old boyfriend so to me he's a dog"  
  
" Allrighty we really didn't need that personal thought" he exclaimed moving to the next girl  
  
"I am Mystical Elf and although I think he is DAMN FINE!! (ahem) I asked for strength from the aura of my brethren to make me strong"  
  
"Ok.next contestant" he said with a sweat drop  
  
" Name's Marie, Marie the Fallen one and I don't think it's any of your freaking business how I passed"  
  
" . ..Right next contestant"  
  
"(sniff) Unhappy(sniff) M Maiden ..I . can never get a guy like him anyhow!! (wails)"  
  
Mr. Volcano handed her his handkerchief, she blowing her nose hard into it then handing it back to but he told her to keep it (* yeah I know an stale overdone joke*)  
  
" My name's Fire Princess and I really have no time on my busy agenda to oogle, so please excuse me" she said carefully filing her nails  
  
"."  
  
" Malevolent Nuzzler, I don't swoon baby I MAKE people swoon"  
  
"(Laughs nervously) I'll ah keep that in mind" he said trying to get away, Far away  
  
" Oh my name's Cure Mermaid," a blond pink mermaid said popping out of a small tank " and wow your better looking out of the water tee hee "  
  
"Hello everyone my name is Magician of faith, and well the reason I passed is . ah " she blushed and showed the crowd a huge diamond ring on her left ring finger  
  
"Ho ho you're married," exclaimed Mr. Volcano "so who's the lucky guy?"  
  
The magician just continued to blush and point's out into the crowd, two spotlights' then beamed down on a figure in black holding up a small ' Go Faithy' sign. The crowd gasped in shock when they realized it was The Magician of Dark Chaos  
  
Our poor announcer too dumbfounded to comment moves onto the next contestant  
  
" I'm just called The unfriendly Amazon I am of noble Amazon bloodline so I'm way too good for him"  
  
" So how you doing, maybe we can spend a little time exploring the jungle huh?" Mr. Volcano trying his best to sound suave, but then out of nowhere a huge sword slammed down on his head knocking him to the floor "Pig" snorted The Unfriendly Amazon marching off to join the others on the sideline  
  
" Ah Heh Heh those girls gotta love em, well ah lets get on with the show shall we" he chuckled rubbing the huge lump on his head  
  
" I am the Princess of Tsurugi and all I have to say is why go nut's over a guy when you know you can always buy them in the end"  
  
" Ah thank you for that insight Princess"  
  
" I'm Called Amazon Archer and the reason for me being here is to prove that wretch of an unfriendly Amazon that I worthy enough to be a noble in our tribe" throwing a look of contempt at her adversary  
  
" Well we all have our own agendas, onto our next contestant"  
  
"I'm the Witches apprentice and well my strategy was well thought up and planned and well not to mention I was way down in the back so I didn't really see him till now"  
  
" Er I think we have to do a recall, ." muttered Mr. V "and now last but not least ."  
  
"I am the Saint Joan, a devout servant of god, and I have taken a strict vow of celibacy for eternity"  
  
" Thank you and now for our second round of our competition the swimsuit competition"  
  
as the girls all made their way back stage to prepare, on the way The Mystical Elf went out to where the loosing contestants were being led out " Oh Harpies!" she called out to the dejected three " I truly am sorry you didn't make it .maybe next time huh?" before gliding back to her dressing room  
  
the three glared viciously at the elf as she left "was she trying to insult us or something" the orange harpy exclaimed " I think so sis" replied the blue one "we'll just have to teach her a lesson then" smirked the pink one "come on I have an idea"  
  
Meanwhile backstage the Mystical Elf was having a slight problem  
  
" Come on please you have to wear it, it part of the competition" pleaded the director  
  
" nuh uh there is no way I'm gonna go out there in this skimpy little thing" she protested holding a bright red bikini away in disgust "why cant I wear a whole suit like some of the others"  
  
" I'm sorry but there was only a five whole suits and the last one we gave to the unhappy maiden because she is so thin the bikini top refused to stay on, please I know you're an understanding person so will you just wear it for this round it will only be fro awhile"  
  
The elf sighed in defeat and agreed to wear it but under the condition that she could wear a cloak to mask her bare skin, Having no other choice the director gave her the ok and returned to the main dressing room where a fight between the Unfriendly Amazon and the Amazon Archer had erupted. However, unknown to anyone deep in the shadows laid a few vengeful spirits waiting for their turn to pounce.  
  
" ALLRIGHT Ladies, gentlemen, and other things it's time for our second round to determine the 10 semifinalists and now it's time for our swimsuit competition"  
  
Each girl modeled across the stage floor to be judged all except for the Mystical elf who was still cowering back stage, now frustrated the director stormed behind her and shoved her roughly onto the stage nearly making her trip over her cloak causing the whole audience to erupt in laughter. The poor elf's face turned a bright purple (since red wont show due to her blue skin) and made her way toward the panel to be judged.  
  
"Uh miss where is your swimsuit" Mr. Volcano asked as she approached  
  
The audience once again burst out in a wave of mocking laughter "I.I ah cant it's too embarrassing I'm too shy,"  
  
Suddenly out of the darkness three masked women flew down onto the stage and unleashed a huge gust of wind whipping off the Mystical Elf's cloak and flinging her to the floor, then as quickly as they appeared the three vanished without a trace. " What the heck was that all about" exclaimed Mr. Volcano forgetting he was still announcing then turned to the shaken girl "are you all right.?...WOAH GIRL YOU'RE A BABE!!"  
  
"Huh what ?!," she moaned pulling herself to her feet indeed Mr. .Volcano was right because as soon as the crowd got a good look at her every man in the audience's jaw dropped in shock then they began whistling and whooping like crazed wolves even the judges couldn't contain their composure.  
  
Meanwhile the Harpies lady sisters heard all the noise and snuck into the audience to see if their dastardly plan worked but to their dismay it backfired totally, the tree then sunk back into the shadows to think up of a new plan.  
  
Ooc: was feeling way too lazy to put in the finalist but keep an eye out for the next part coming soon 


End file.
